Guru
If there is perfect viveka (discrimination) within, no Guru is needed outside because viveka is the inner Guru.
I had my breakfast at Sathya’s this morning. Then I was driving to Satsang with Amma.
This morning’s satsang began with Amma posing a question to the audience – what should we do for Deepam (maha deepam is on Friday, Dec 13th when the flame is lit on top of Arunachala and remains lit for the next 10 days)? The roads may be impassable on Friday as they can suddenly block off access ways. It may also be difficult for some of you to get here. But some here are saying, “how can Amma not be here for Deepam”, Amma smiled.
Different devotees started saying different things about what Amma should do. Some suggested she should stay at her home and enjoy Deepam there. A devotee suggested we celebrate Deepam a day or two later when traffic and crowds are less of an issue.
Amma seemed to agree – yes, the next day (after Deepam) is Pournima. I can be here on that day. If you all tell me to stay here for Deepam and Pournima then that can be a consideration. But if you tell me I must stay here, that can be a problem.
Amma continued – yes, because it is totally free by itself. It’s not obliged to anything, to be anywhere or to not be anywhere. It’s not a matter of obligation, or duty. It’s a matter of love, which happens by its own will. Most of the time it comes. If this body is okay with it, it comes. From here you cannot even see Deepam.
A gentleman then said – I don’t understand what the fuss is about Deepam.
Amma smiled and said – it is a very significant event here. It’s okay to not understand it.
A lady then said – yesterday I saw a lot of people pulling chariots with the Gods from the main Arunachaleshwar temple on them. They were all sweating and yelling and being noisy. How can this be a way to self-realization?
Amma smiled and said – they do this because they love it. This is how they express their devotion. They love carrying the deities. Things happen here without any purpose. These people are not seeking anything like the silence of realization. They just love doing this and so they express themselves in this manner.
The lady followed up – what is the significance of lighting the Deepam on top of Arunachala?
Amma responded – it is an important day here. Collectively everyone is thinking only about Arunachala. And the deity is already present there. So, this has great power. Nobody is thinking about work or business that day, Amma joked.
Amma added – it is said even invisible beings gather on Deepam night to see the flame being lit. So, it’s a very special day here filled with grace and presence. There is extreme devotion here during this time.
A gentleman said – maybe Amma can explain the whole deepam as she saw it, the next day?
Amma smiled and said – see when Amma views it, everyone is viewing through those eyes, isn’t it? There is only one eye, which is viewing Arunachala. There are not many eyes here.
Amma then narrated a story about Ramana Maharshi and Kunju Swami. One year during the Deepam festival, both had gone to see the procession in the main temple with deities being drawn on chariots. Later when the chariots had passed them, Ramana Maharshi asked Kunju Swami what he saw. Kunju Swami replied he had seen the deities pass by. Ramana Maharshi exclaimed surprise on hearing this and is said to have remarked – I could not even look at the deities. Such was his bhaava, devotion and humility. He was a supreme Advaitin, yet he displayed such reverence, respect and love for the deities that he could not train his eyes to even look at them for a second as they were passing by.
After a long pause, Amma said with a smile – we are all so fortunate to be here. It is your good fortune. Many janmas of merit has resulted in you all being here.
A few minutes later, a lady asked a question – I am increasingly able to distinguish between doing and non-doing. But sometimes you are prompted to do things, to act. In such times, can one simply be an instrument for God to act through?
Amma responded – absolutely. There are things that have to be done in this world. Whatever is prompted from within, with clarity you can do. God is not separate from you. Each one has to play their role. It is always the higher power doing things through us.
A gentleman then said – we were talking about devotion and bhakti earlier. I am reminded of the thousands of devotional verses Arunagirinathar wrote after his realization. Likewise, Ramana Maharshi wrote great works of devotional beauty after his realization. Nisargadatta Maharaj sang bhajans for his guru Siddarameshwar Maharaj daily. Ramakrishna was mad in his love for Kali Maa. From these people’s lives I can surmise true devotion can only arise when there is complete surrender. Also, it is clear to me bhakti and jnana go together. The two cannot be separated.
Amma smiled and softly responded – in Arunachala, people are called devotees. There are only bhakthas here, no disciples. Devotion is part of the knowledge here. Everyone is a devotee of Arunachala, and they sing praises or write about Arunachala according to how they experience it. As you say, without devotion, true surrender is not possible. This surrender is brought about by Arunachala.
Amma added – devotees here melt in their love for Arunachala. Ramana Maharshi said in Arunachala Akshara Manamalai, devotees’ bones melt in their love for the supreme being. Amma then quoted Verse 106 – “Familiar to Thine ears are the sweet songs of votaries who melt to the very bones with love for Thee, yet let my poor strains also be acceptable, O Arunachala!”
Amma continued – Bhagwan says: O, Arunachala, all your devotees’ bones melt by their melting devotion to thee. Amma added – they become completely bodiless. The gross body is no longer felt. Such is the power of their devotion. Bhagwan then tells Arunachala to accept his own inferior love, which cannot match the bone-melting love of devotees here. Such is Bhagwan’s humility.
Amma went on – once we come across Arunachala and his grace, the grossness of this body is not felt anymore. Every part cell of this body starts melting in devotion and love. It is the power of Arunachala. And there is no body found, except His own pure bliss and love. That’s what it means. This is the anubuthi (direct experience) of devotees who come to Arunachala. Devotion is an experience. Devotees of Arunachala all experience Him in different ways.
A gentleman then said – I have heard this is a place for final liberation. Is Arunachala the final place? Is this it? Are we done?
Amma smiled and emphatically said – absolutely.
A lady then asked – is devotion the feeling of love and magic in the heart?
Amma responded – yes. Devotion is supreme love. There is no difference between love and devotion. With love normally we say – I love this, I love that. But love really means “with so much of reverence and oneness with it”. It is a supreme love – for the supreme, by the supreme, in the supreme, and as the supreme. It is devotion.
A gentleman then asked – I notice Indian people naturally have more devotion than Westerners. Can devotion be learnt?
Amma responded – no it cannot be learnt. The intellect can sometimes be a hindrance. Devotion is the opening of your heart to its fullest. It is a flowering in your own heart. That makes us surrender, submit. The ego submits to such devotion, in devotion I should say. So, devotion is nothing other than the pull towards our own center. It is not the feeling or emotional type. It is much more of an opening of the heart. That’s the only place even the intellect submits. Because it is much more, it is not in the logical mind. It is beyond it. So even the intellect submits. Only when the intellect also submits, you know who you are. Then the experience of the self is very, very, very profound and easy.
The gentleman followed up – I feel differently when I am in India compared to when I am in the west.
Amma laughed and said – yes. That’s why we all come here. This is the special feature of this land.
The gentleman asked again – devotion is not a learning; it’s more an awakening then?
Amma responded – when you say learning we are adding. But devotion is unlearning. It is a flowering from gaining full knowledge in the heart. So, it is an opening towards the real heart. Learning is always an accumulation, more and more. There is nothing to learn. You have to forget everything. And be nothing, where the real heart opens for us. Because it was always there. So the knowledge about many things outwardly like objective knowledge, is an obstruction in not knowing the subject.
The gentleman who spoke about devotion earlier then said – this aspect of surrender is captured beautifully in the Sharanagati song written by a devotee.
Amma smiled and said – surrender is not possible through individual will or effort. Of course, with self-enquiry and awareness we can improve it, and be more receptive to grace but that’s about all we can do. Surrender is only possible if Grace pulls us in, not by our own will or our own surrender. It is Grace that causes us to submit to the self.
Amma added – it was Manikkavachagar that said: “on arul alai on thaal vannangi” – only by your grace, I can submit myself to your feet.
Amma went on – that grace has to pull that essence back to the source. All those saints and sages have written about it. It is their anubhuti, it is experiential truth. They know “my surrender is not possible without your grace”. And I can bow down to your feet only by your grace, which is the truth. Not by any individual effort. Maybe to some extent as being aware and allowing it to happen. When such power of grace, when it absorbs you, it takes you over. Every cell of your body, which you see as body, will start saying, “I am yours”. And it takes over and makes you submit, with no ownership.
Amma continued – only such power of grace and love can take you over and show you that you are nothing. And then in that devotion you feel, yes, I don’t belong to myself. And I am nobody and I am nothing. The bones start to melt in that grace.
Amma continued – then we realize this is what I am. So, who am I has 2 ways – “who am I” as in traditional self-enquiry and the other is “oh, this is who I am”. Both approaches happen from the same place.
Amma then said – I don’t know why I am talking about all this today. Arunachala clearly wants me to. I am unable to get up as well, Amma laughed. Each time I try to get up, I am pulled further into the chair.
Finally, Amma said – by His own will, I will be here for Deepam on Friday. Whoever can make it can come. Everyone was happy to hear this.
Amma then smiled, slowly got up, and ended the satsang.
It is raining again a bit from time to time. Tomorrow it must be more rain, it looks like. Just before Deepam, Friday will be the big fire on Arunachala. The public will not be allowed to walk up the mountain this year. It is too dangerous because of landslides, rain, and soft soil. Over loudspeakers all along the Pradakshina, you can hear now the Mantra “Om Namah Shivaya”.
I went to the tailor I gave my pants to yesterday. They were ready, and for 50 rupees they are fitting well now. He even repaired the hem of the pants nicely. I just wanted to start my scooter when Sampath stopped next to me. Sampath is the guy from whom I rent my scooter. He said I could come later and he would change a cable for my choke to start the scooter better when the motor is cold.
For lunch, I was for the first time in “Wild Child”. It is a Restaurant close by on my road. I had some Aloo Paratha and after that a coffee and chocolate-cheese cake. I enjoyed it. There was a Western guy working with two Indian ladies, he said people could work here voluntarily. I am not sure yet how this place works, will have to investigate.
In the afternoon I brought my hemp pants also to the tailor, to shorten the trouser legs a bit.
And last but not least it is Pizza Day at Sathya’s. As usual, Freddy, Uma, Shankar, and Mirka were there. And the Canadian guy, I think his name is Tumeran, not sure how to write it. There was a strong smoke in the air. I guess the chimney needs to be cleaned after the heavy rain.
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