Guru
There is no difference between a Master and his teachings. Love for the Master is love for His teachings, and love for his teachings will naturally lead to love for the Master.
It is strongly raining again, in night and in the daytime now. When I woke up there was no electricity again. I did what I was doing every morning, reading, learning Portuguese, having a shower, brushing my teeth …
My raincoat is in the scooter’s case under the seat. I went down and pulled it all over my body. I got a towel with me to dry the seat. Then I drove to Tasty Cafe for breakfast. There were not many people this morning, but still a few. Next to me, I met Glen from England. Glen is 85 years old and he told me that he is doing the Pradakshina (walking around the Arunachala) every day. We had a good talk until I left for Satsang.
The satsang was very quiet and peaceful for about the first 25 minutes. Then a gentleman said – yesterday there was mention about bhakti and there are only bhakthas here in Arunachala. Also, the ego cannot make any effort to realize or to be devoted. It can only submit itself in surrender to the self. One sign of the presence of such grace to me is repeated failures of the ego to be able to take matters into its own hands.
Amma responded – in the purest sense that is right.
After a long pause, Amma added – we learn more from the failures of the ego than we do from successes. It is from failures that we are drawn to the truth. Every chance where this ego gets defeated is a blessing. At a certain point we get the maturity to realize there are no successes or failures. Whose successes or failures, are they?
A lady then asked – can you talk about saguna and nirguna Brahman?
Amma said with a smile – when your eyes are open and you see all these forms (motioning with her yes and hands around the room), that is saguna Brahman. When your eyes are closed and you realize your formless nature, that is nirguna Brahman.
Amma added – both are Brahman only; one is with form and the other is formless. It is Brahman that fills the forms. If you believe you have form, then everyone else has a form too. Whatever appears in Brahman as form is saguna. Saguna is just a qualified projection. Without that appearance, it is nirguna. It has no qualities in it.
The lady followed up – when you say “when your eyes are open” you mean the waking state, not what you see in the dream state?
Amma reaponded – yes, the waking state, when you are fully conscious, where there is no sleep and no dream. When you see forms that is saguna Brahman and the formless consciousness that pervades is nirguna Brahman. It is the nirguna that is present everywhere. The saguna is only a qualified appearance.
The lady followed up again – when Amma’s eyes are open, does she see each one of us separate forms as saguna Brahman?
Amma said with a smile – I only see Brahman. I do not think this is saguna Brahman and that is nirguna Brahman. There is only Brahman for me, which is in many forms. Amma sees all of you only as the one consciousness. Yes, it appears in different forms, but what exists is only Brahman. It is saguna Brahman, you see. It is a qualified Brahman. Whereas the absolute has no qualities. Even forms or names cannot qualify it. It is pure, absolute.
The lady asked again – so forms are not objects?
Amma responded – yes. It is the subject only. Forms are not separate objects. Forms are in the subject only. Objects only appear when the subject is lost. There is no thought that this is Brahman or that is Brahman. There is no imagination that something is Brahman. The subject is Brahman, so what exists is Brahman. I do not think, oh, the chair is something else. There are no separations here. Whatever is here is only that. It’s a vision. It is not just literally saying that I don’t see an object. But I know what exists is only the subject.
The lady asked again – the reason I ask this is I always have a hard time thinking this entire world is just a dream. It is easier for me to think of objects appearing because the ignorance has made me lose my sense of the subject. But the object is really the form misperceived as something separate from me, from Brahman. That makes a lot of sense to me.
Amma responded – yes.
A gentleman then asked – from this form of Brahman (me) to you as Brahman, I would like to express my gratitude to you who have shown me much love. I am leaving soon and being here and experiencing your love is easily the best experience of my life. Thank you, thank you.
A gentleman then said – we experience this beautiful state when the I-sense is not present. But once we step out, very soon it rises again, and the individualized sense is felt again. Is there anything I can do to make this permanent?
Amma said compassionately – that’s okay. Let it happen. You have to consciously take care of duties during the day. But even during these times the truth is ever there. You cannot lose what you gain here by merely being active. Know that even if the (bodily and mental) faculties come up for anything, just know it is only for the time being. But have this everywhere. Wherever you go, know that it is everywhere. And slowly and steadily, this will continue. Maybe you will not feel anything specific or special.
A lady then chanted the devotional song to Amma – Om thath sath sri Narayana thu, purushotama guru thu…
The gentleman who asked about the ego’s failures then said – Ramana would not use the word Brahman very much, perhaps because it was not easily understood. He used the word arivu. If I remember right, arivu means unqualified consciousness or unqualified awareness.
Amma responded – yes arivu means consciousness. Suttarivu is also used to denote being conscious or having knowledge of what is not self. Being aware of what is not self is ignorance. When we are aware of the suttarivu or non-self we are not aware of the self. When we become aware of objects, we are no longer aware of the subject. We can easily get pulled away to become aware of the suttarivu.
Amma added – so what Bhagwan is saying is become unconscious of this suttarivu, which is external knowledge. Come to the real knowledge of who you are. Then you know slowly that suttarivu is not there and only pure knowing is there, which is not knowing anything outwardly. It knows nothing.
Amma continued – ignorance or the whole illusion began when we started knowing something other than ourselves. In that sense, knowledge is an ignorance, it is knowledge of something else. Whereas the act of knowing oneself, that is not an act. It is pure knowing. It is shuddha arivu, where there is no knowledge, no ignorance. That is pure.
Amma went on – that is why it is said there are two words, idam and aham. This and that is idam. Aham means I am, the pure subject. That aham is the shuddha arivu. Idam means this and that. Whatever we see is separate things. This, that, or the other. Whereas Aham means the one pure subject, I am. That I am is the knowing. It is only one, not many.
Amma then said – that pure consciousness is one. There is no separation in it. Only when it knows my body, my mind, another’s body, things, this, that, then there is the other arivu called suttarivu. That knowledge is taking away the undivided nature of our knowing and being. Whoever sits here, the knowing is not different, it is one. That consciousness is not different, it is one. As much as you identify with that, it is real to you, that much it is taking you away. If not, no. Because consciousness is giving reality to it.
Amma added – nothing can be real here without the reality, which is that we are. Everything, even the maya looks real because the real is behind it. Nothing can be known here even outwardly without the pure knowing within. So that’s the base for it. Whatever it knows, it becomes that. Whatever it makes real, it becomes that. Do you see this? There are not many consciousness. That’s why we say there is only one Brahman.
Amma continued – that’s why they say all beads have been strung together on one thread. All forms and names have been strong together on the one Brahman.
Another gentleman followed up on this and asked – should all forms then look the same?
Amma laughed and responded – how boring it would be if we all looked the same?! Consciousness needed some variety, so it created it. Brahman wanted a little bit of variety so that it can enjoy different tastes, different forms, different names. All the differences, just for its own taste. When it becomes bitter, it comes back to itself. It says – enough of this enjoyment, let me come back. Otherwise, it is fine.
Amma then said of her own accord – mostly we twist jnanam, always taking it for something. The one who is truly in jnanam will never speak about it. If any time we use that as a weapon for our own safety, we are losing it. Any excuses, any teasers that we use through knowledge is an excuse for ourselves. Thank you.
So saying, Amma smiled, got up and ended the satsang.
After Satsang, there was no more rain. I stopped at the ATM to withdraw some money. Who knows, during Deepam the ATM’s might be empty. On the way back I stopped at the mini market to buy bread and some cheese. I felt like eating something different sometimes. The cheese was made in Auroville, the place Sri Aurobindo once founded. https://auroville.org/
On the way back home I picked up my hemp trousers at the tailor’s place, they were shortened there.
Past 12:00 my intention was to drive to Garuda Restaurant, haven’t been there for a while. I met Freddy on the way, and he said they were going to eat at Ramana Restaurant. So I changed and went there.
Kavitah is the owner of this small Restaurant. She had another one around here, but it burnt down one day. She is a lovely woman and a good cook. Uma and Shankar like it because she doesn’t use so many spices. For me, she is adding some chilly🌶️It started strongly raining again, sometimes it stops a little. Anyway, it’s not bad as it was when the cyclone was here. I have heard that many crops are destroyed, it must be a hard time for the farmers.
In the evening, after my nap, I drove to the Ashram. It was very crowded, so many people around because of Deepam. I didn’t stay long. Tomorrow at 18:00 they will start a big fire on Arunachala. Back to Sathya’s for a chai. Jonatan showed up. Another Danish woman joined us, she arrived last Sunday.
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