Guru
Guru does not give an answer to your question, but takes you to the answer within.
I had some early bread and cheese in my room. There was no rain this morning. I wondered if I could reach Tasty Cafe and Satsang with my scooter this morning. When I came to the main road, there were already many people walking the Pradakshina. Still, it was possible to drive slowly; most people were walking on the other side of the road. So I reached Tasty Cafe. I just had a coffee this morning.
Amma said this morning that the Arunachala Hill has been here for 360 crores. So I checked that 1 crore is 10 million. This sums up to 3.6 billion years. The Himalayas were created 40-50 million years ago. The Indian plate drifted northwards and collided with the Eurasian plate, folding the earth’s crust.
Today is maha Deepam, a very auspicious day in Tiruvannamalai. The flame is lit on top of Arunachala where it will remain lit for the next 10 nights.
Amma began today’s satsang by speaking about the significance of Deepam – in the Puranas there is a story of the divine mother, Parvati once playfully closing Shiva’s eyes. Immediately, the universe was plunged into darkness. Parvati was separated from Shiva because of this and had to do tapas or penance to win Shiva back.
Amma added – so Parvati first came to Kancheepuram. Then Shiva told her to go to Tiruvannamalai where she did penance under the guidance of sage Gautama in Pavalakundru. Shiva was pleased with Parvati’s tapas and absorbed her into Him as His better half. This absorption happened on maha Deepam. Hence the significance of this day. Thus, was born the Ardanareeshwara form of half Shiva and half Parvati.
Amma continued – in Arunachala, Aruna is the divine mother while achala is Shiva. So here in Arunachala, both the divine mother and divine father are equally present. That’s why whoever comes here and does penance finds it beneficial because the Divine Mother herself did penance here. So, tapas comes easily here. Arunachala is a Tapobhoomi. Tapobhoomi means it’s a land of penance. Here, one can attain and reach the highest state of Shivam. Here Devi and Shiva both are together, that is Shakti and Shiva are the same, both are here.
Amma went on – so Deepam is special for that. That’s why whoever comes here is a form of the Divine Mother who reaches the state of the ultimate, the absolute, which is Arunachalam. And especially they say for women it is a very important place. Because the Divine Mother did tapas here. This is the story of the Purana.
Amma added – in fact, Arunachala has existed since the beginning of creation. They say this mountain goes back 360 crores of years. Shiva himself took the form of this mountain, initially as a column of light and then it cooled into this mountain we see. But this mountain has also been called by different names and was in different colors in prior yugas or eras.
Amma continued – this is the purana, which is the truth. Whoever attains that supreme state of being, which is Arunachalam, attains him through such penance or tapas, which is given by Him. That’s why I say we are all very fortunate to be here.
Amma added – this place is agni sthala, a place of fire – the fire which gives birth and the fire which takes us off, which destructs everything. And ultimately the Paramjyoti, the supreme light which is within us, which he appeared in the beginning itself as a column of light, this pure light shines within us. That’s the whole significance of Deepam.
After a short pause, Amma said with a smile – today our prayer to Arunachala should be “let there be no separation with you”. Not even playfully should I cover myself with my own hands. This veiling power should be permanently removed and let there be no separation at all.
Shortly after, a gentleman said – today you have been speaking about tapas. I recall Papaji saying there is no meditator and there is only meditation. Also, Sri Ramana did not like people closing their eyes and going into trances. He preferred people keeping their eyes open and performing self-enquiry. You speak about Parvati performing tapas here. It seems that in the Vedas they talk about Sahaja Nishtha, which is the natural state, which is permanent. How does this tapas fit in with what the masters say?
Amma smiled and said – the definition of penance is not closing the eyes or opening them. It is much more than that. What’s happening here, sitting here is tapas. But you don’t feel that you are doing any penance here. So, when the penance happens, tapas
happens, you don’t even know that it is happening.
Amma added – tapas has nothing to do with keeping the eyes open or closed. Also, tapas does not mean standing on one’s head. Tapas refers to the inward journey. Tapas is being in the self. In fact, being in the self is the greatest tapas one can perform. This is the jnana tapas. Ramana Maharshi was in tapas for many years here. Even he could not open his eyes. But that was not his doing. Also what he was not into was this in-between state, this layam or intermediate state between waking and sleep.
The satsang proceeded quietly and peacefully for the next several minutes.
A lady sang a Shiva Bhajan.
A lady sang the Ardanareshwara Stotram. Upon its conclusion, Amma said – this is a beautiful Stotram describing the half divine father and the half divine mother. It describes Shiva and Parvati in their various forms. It says Parvati is wearing nice flowers as her garland while Shiva wears snakes. The divine mother has kumkum on her forehead whereas Shiva has bhashma (ashes) on his forehead. Parvati has long beautiful hair whereas Shiva’s hair is matted. She is doing the beautiful dance of creation whereas Shiva is doing the Tandava dance of destruction.
Then the gentleman who asked about tapas said – yesterday, I was talking to someone about this sage Yogiswami who came from Jaffna (Sri Lanka) to see Ramana Maharshi. There was great anticipation of what would be said between the 2. They met for 2 hours but ended up sitting in complete silence. Not a word was exchanged between the two.
Amma responded – nothing more is needed.
After a long pause, Amma quoted a verse (26) from Akshara Manamalai. The English translation is – glorious mountain of love, celebrated by Gautama, rule me with thy gracious glance, O Arunachala!
Amma added – Bhagwan is praying to Arunachala where Gautama Maharshi once lived. He says – O Arunachala, please give me a sideways glance, and with your compassion, make me one with thee.
Amma continued – this phrase “kadai kan parvai” means sideways glance. It is a beautiful phrase. The reason we don’t want Arunachala to look at us directly is we may not be ready for it or get frightened and not come to His way of the truth. Even though the self is very simple, and the truth is very simple, sometimes it is best if it enters through a sideways glance rather than a direct look. A direct experience can be intimidating unless one has the requisite maturity to receive it.
Amma went on – achalya doesn’t do anything. The one who is still, doesn’t do anything. But suddenly that pure shakti, that pure power of self, its attention falls on something. Directionlessly it falls. Don’t think it is happening thoughtfully. It just falls with grace. And that jiva is brought. So it is Kadai kan parvai.
Amma added – so somewhere, at some point, the divine mother enters you through her compassionate sideways glance and ensnares you. Just one thought of Arunachala can begin the journey back to the self.
After a short pause Amma continued – this is why our ancestors passed along truths to us using indirect methods. The reason is we will be much more receptive to hearing them than if the truth were imposed on us. The truth can hurt and it is much easier to receive it when spoken softly and indirectly, than through direct methods.
Amma added – even the Vedas are best learnt by hearing and through indirect learning. The Vedas means marai – indirect. That’s why a side glance, that’s why the instructions are given in such a way. Because it should be received. It should not be resisted with any kind of disturbance. They were so compassionate that they have given it in this way with sweetness so that we receive. Even though the truth is straight, it’s given little indirectly. That’s the beauty of it. Even in Bhagwan’s words, whatever you read, you can see He is indirectly hitting Arunachala.
Amma continued – the Vedas are taught in a hidden manner (marchi in Tamil). The grace should enter into us, this knowledge should enter into us without even knowing that it has entered. That is the beauty. This is called grace, the power of compassion. Even though the experience of the self is very direct, it is given indirectly. Because the ego should not obstruct its receiving. The grace comes only in a very, very subtle way, a secret way. So this ego will not lose it by its movement.
Okay? Amma has spoken a lot today. I don’t even feel like I am sitting here today. So saying, Amma smiled, got up and ended the satsang.
Amma began today’s satsang by speaking about the significance of Deepam – in the Puranas there is a story of the divine mother, Parvati once playfully closing Shiva’s eyes. Immediately, the universe was plunged into darkness. Parvati was separated from Shiva because of this and had to do tapas or penance to win Shiva back.
Amma added – so Parvati first came to Kancheepuram. Then Shiva told her to go to Tiruvannamalai where she did penance under the guidance of sage Gautama in Pavalakundru. Shiva was pleased with Parvati’s tapas and absorbed her into Him as His better half. This absorption happened on maha Deepam. Hence the significance of this day. Thus, was born the Ardanareeshwara form of half Shiva and half Parvati.
Amma continued – in Arunachala, Aruna is the divine mother while achala is Shiva. So here in Arunachala, both the divine mother and divine father are equally present. That’s why whoever comes here and does penance finds it beneficial because the Divine Mother herself did penance here. So, tapas comes easily here. Arunachala is a Tapobhoomi. Tapobhoomi means it’s a land of penance. Here, one can attain and reach the highest state of Shivam. Here Devi and Shiva both are together, that is Shakti and Shiva are the same, both are here.
Amma went on – so Deepam is special for that. That’s why whoever comes here is a form of the Divine Mother who reaches the state of the ultimate, the absolute, which is Arunachalam. And especially they say for women it is a very important place. Because the Divine Mother did tapas here. This is the story of the Purana.
Amma added – in fact, Arunachala has existed since the beginning of creation. They say this mountain goes back 360 crores of years. Shiva himself took the form of this mountain, initially as a column of light and then it cooled into this mountain we see. But this mountain has also been called by different names and was in different colors in prior yugas or eras.
Amma continued – this is the purana, which is the truth. Whoever attains that supreme state of being, which is Arunachalam, attains him through such penance or tapas, which is given by Him. That’s why I say we are all very fortunate to be here.
Amma added – this place is agni sthala, a place of fire – the fire which gives birth and the fire which takes us off, which destructs everything. And ultimately the Paramjyoti, the supreme light which is within us, which he appeared in the beginning itself as a column of light, this pure light shines within us. That’s the whole significance of Deepam.
After a short pause, Amma said with a smile – today our prayer to Arunachala should be “let there be no separation with you”. Not even playfully should I cover myself with my own hands. This veiling power should be permanently removed and let there be no separation at all.
Shortly after, a gentleman said – today you have been speaking about tapas. I recall Papaji saying there is no meditator and there is only meditation. Also, Sri Ramana did not like people closing their eyes and going into trances. He preferred people keeping their eyes open and performing self-inquiry. You speak about Parvati performing tapas here. It seems that in the Vedas they talk about Sahaja Nishtha, which is the natural state, which is permanent. How does this tapas fit in with what the masters say?
Amma smiled and said – the definition of penance is not closing the eyes or opening them. It is much more than that. What’s happening here, sitting here is tapas. But you don’t feel that you are doing any penance here. So, when the penance happens, tapas happens, you don’t even know that it is happening.
Amma added – tapas has nothing to do with keeping the eyes open or closed. Also, tapas does not mean standing on one’s head. Tapas refers to the inward journey. Tapas is being in the self. In fact, being in the self is the greatest tapas one can perform. This is the jnana tapas. Ramana Maharshi was in tapas for many years here. Even he could not open his eyes. But that was not his doing. Also what he was not into was this in-between state, this layam or intermediate state between waking and sleep.
The satsang proceeded quietly and peacefully for the next several minutes.
A lady sang a Shiva Bhajan.
A lady sang the Ardanareshwara Stotram. Upon its conclusion, Amma said – this is a beautiful Stotram describing the half-divine father and the half-divine mother. It describes Shiva and Parvati in their various forms. It says Parvati is wearing nice flowers as her garland while Shiva wears snakes. The divine mother has kumkum on her forehead whereas Shiva has bhashma (ashes) on his forehead. Parvati has long beautiful hair whereas Shiva’s hair is matted. She is doing the beautiful dance of creation whereas Shiva is doing the Tandava dance of destruction.
Then the gentleman who asked about tapas said – yesterday, I was talking to someone about this sage Yogiswami who came from Jaffna (Sri Lanka) to see Ramana Maharshi. There was great anticipation of what would be said between the 2. They met for 2 hours but ended up sitting in complete silence. Not a word was exchanged between the two.
Amma responded – nothing more is needed.
After a long pause, Amma quoted a verse (26) from Akshara Manamalai. The English translation is – glorious mountain of love, celebrated by Gautama, rule me with thy gracious glance, O Arunachala!
Amma added – Bhagwan is praying to Arunachala where Gautama Maharshi once lived. He says – O Arunachala, please give me a sideways glance, and with your compassion, make me one with thee.
Amma continued – this phrase “kadai kan parvai” means sideways glance. It is a beautiful phrase. The reason we don’t want Arunachala to look at us directly is we may not be ready for it or get frightened and not come to His way of the truth. Even though the self is very simple, and the truth is very simple, sometimes it is best if it enters through a sideways glance rather than a direct look. A direct experience can be intimidating unless one has the requisite maturity to receive it.
Amma went on – achalya doesn’t do anything. The one who is still, doesn’t do anything. But suddenly that pure shakti, that pure power of self, its attention falls on something. Directionlessly it falls. Don’t think it is happening thoughtfully. It just falls with grace. And that jiva is brought. So it is Kadai kan parvai.
Amma added – so somewhere, at some point, the divine mother enters you through her compassionate sideways glance and ensnares you. Just one thought of Arunachala can begin the journey back to the self.
After a short pause Amma continued – this is why our ancestors passed along truths to us using indirect methods. The reason is we will be much more receptive to hearing them than if the truth were imposed on us. The truth can hurt and it is much easier to receive it when spoken softly and indirectly, than through direct methods.
Amma added – even the Vedas are best learnt by hearing and through indirect learning. The Vedas means marai – indirect. That’s why a side glance, that’s why the instructions are given in such a way. Because it should be received. It should not be resisted with any kind of disturbance. They were so compassionate that they have given it in this way with sweetness so that we receive. Even though the truth is straight, it’s given little indirectly. That’s the beauty of it. Even in Bhagwan’s words, whatever you read, you can see He is indirectly hitting Arunachala.
Amma continued – the Vedas are taught in a hidden manner (marchi in Tamil). The grace should enter into us, this knowledge should enter into us without even knowing that it has entered. That is the beauty. This is called grace, the power of compassion. Even though the experience of the self is very direct, it is given indirectly. Because the ego should not obstruct its receiving. The grace comes only in a very, very subtle way, a secret way. So this ego will not lose it by its movement.
Okay? Amma has spoken a lot today. I don’t even feel like I am sitting here today. So saying, Amma smiled, got up and ended the satsang.
When I left the Ashram, I met Jonatan, and we drove to The Inner Child Restaurant for a coffee. But it was closed. Today is Deepam, and not all Restaurants seem to be open. So we decided to drive to the German Bakery. Before reaching the main road, we had to stop; there were too many people around already.
Walking to the German Bakery many people lined up for the Lingam Temple. There are many like this in Tiruvannamalai. We enjoyed a lemon/ginger/honey tea and cake. The owner of the German Bakery is a German in this case. After a while we separated, Jonatan was walking with the crowd. There were already so many people that I couldn’t drive with my scooter on the road. I decided to drive home through the small backroads, which I had never done before. In the beginning, I was on the wrong road, it just ended. Another guy on a scooter faced the same issue. Looking on Google Maps we found the right way. In the end, I just came from the other side of the small road where my apartment is.
Later I had some lunch at Sathya’s. It was quite attended because of Deepam. Westerners, Indians, and four policemen had lunch there. After my nap, I got a message from Parwati, the Indian woman I met during my first Pradakshina four weeks ago. She asked if we could meet. The internet was not working properly anymore, not even the mobile internet. Too many people accessing it at the same time.
In the Ashram at 18:00 everybody was excited waiting for the fire. But it was so cloudy that you couldn’t see it from there. I got videos and photos later from other people. Anyway, we met later in Ashram, she came with her friend and neighbor Selwi. So we walked a while together and had a hot drink with lots of jaggery, jaggery is from sugarcane. Then I went back, found my scooter, and drove home.
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